Social Media Marketing for Late Adopters
But as an alternative, your business can implement a social marketing program via conventional media. Without using computers, mobile devices, social media sites, digital images or the Internet! No complex multivariate testing or web analytics! Surprisingly, one can utilize proven 19th century technology while still employing the same marketing concepts and nomenclature used by today’s expert social media marketing practitioners.
Retro Social Media Marketing Tips
As Johannes Gutenberg said in his 1445 blog post, “Content is King”. An offline social media strategy needs a huge quantity of printed text and graphics. Page after page of photographs and hand-scrawled notes to attract an audience. So start writing, plagiarizing and photocopying!
To kick things off, get a book of quotations (or cliches). Send one of these via postcard to everyone you know. To increase the appeal, add a note asking recipients to send copies to all their Friends, offering to Like them if they Like you. This tactic alone can garner a dozen Followers – or more! Especially if the card includes an attractive photo or company name the reader confuses with a celebrity or major brand.
Next, consult the publishing industry directory in the local library. See which magazines, newspapers, trade journals and other printed media have the highest circulations. To maximize content acquisition, subscribe to all of these. Then send a terse photocopied form letter to each publisher telling them your company Likes them. As the periodicals arrive in your mailbox, file and categorize the contents for future re-distribution. But to conserve your valuable time, don’t read them.
Strategy for Social Media Marketing
Audience Engagement. Whenever you get a phone call, telegram, letter or post card — reply promptly. Compliment and thank the sender for their insightful message. And of course, tell them you’re Following them. To enable future communications, be sure to provide the page number of your business listing in the phone book. For outbound phone responses, tape a brief prerecorded generic audio message. When mailing or faxing, use a mimeographed note with cryptic abbreviations and typos.
Content Re-distribution. Make photocopies of everything you receive in the mail. And promptly re-mail this material to your entire Social Graph. Attach a profound commentary like ‘Excellent letter’, ‘Interesting photo’ or ‘Thought you’d like this’. After waiting a day, call each contact and read the material to them over the phone (or leave a voice message).
User-Generated Content and Crowdsourcing. Why spend hours at the typewriter when there are plenty of people out there willing to write for you! Hold a writing contest, advertise a job opening or contest. Or post blank sheets of paper on public bulletin boards or telephone poles in high traffic areas. To pique interest, use provocative headings like “I believe social media marketing is a passing fad. What do you think?”
Emulate Modern Multimedia and Distribution
Image Marketing. Take random photos of things you encounter in business or daily life. Every week, have the film developed at the drugstore and make several thousand prints. To maximize your content marketing reach, mail or fax the prints to everyone you know. And people you don’t know (just look ’em up in the phone book). Include a business card and a request to be your Friend. Whenever the opportunity arises, Pin these (actually staples work better). Especially on a bulletin board or Wall in a public place. To make these ‘go viral’, include a request to Share these with Friends.
Video Marketing. Make a dozen short 16mm home movies (10 min. max) about any dopey subject that comes to mind. Have the film processed and copied, and leave several reels at every movie theater in the community. Along with a business card (with request to Like your business) taped to each one.
Mash-ups. Using conventional cut-and-paste technology (scissors and glue), combine text and graphic elements in a document. To maximize the social marketing impact, ‘personalize’ the content for the target audience. In our modern world, nothing matches the appeal of —
Infographics. Create a confusing montage using construction paper, gardening shears and rubber cement. In your spare time, photocopy and mail these repeatedly to all Friends and Followers. To maximize the open rate, make sure to print ‘Infographic’ on the outside of the envelopes.
Automating and Optimizing and Your Social Graph
Search Optimization and the Semantic Web. Next time you’re at the library, take a look in the Subject card catalog. See which index cards are the most worn and dog eared. These will be the major ‘keywords’ for your offline search optimization program. Every week or so, get a few thousand blank index cards and write information about your products, services and keywords on these. Especially references to company photos and video media. Then stuff the cards back into the most popular sections of the card catalog.
Monitor Trending Topics. List the major topics discussed in letters, phone calls, newspapers, magazines and trade journals you receive. Tally the number of times each topic is mentioned. Use these high-volume topics (along with buzzwords specific to your business) to augment the list of keywords used for Search Optimization and Search Marketing.
Location-based Marketing. Every week, mail out postcards to all contacts (Friends and strangers). Tell them where you are and ask recipients to Share this with their Friends, Friends-of-Friends and Acquaintances. Be sure to add the locations to your keywords list. These gems provide ample fodder for future postings, mailings, phone calls and voice messages. Give the library, Post Office, phone company and content publishers permission to tell everyone where you are at any given moment. Especially in Austin —
Social Marketing Automation. All this printing, faxing, phoning and photocopying can cut into your Netflix and video game time. So to avoid this tedium, automate the processes as much as possible. Have large quantities of index cards, letters and notes printed at Kinkos. Contract with an obnoxious Robo-Call service to deliver phone messages and faxes. And rent a Pitney Bowes machine to do mass mailings.
Rinse And Repeat Retro Social Media Tips
Refining the Social Graph. To expand your following, maintain a list of people who sent letters, cards, photographs, movies or telegrams. Enhance your social marketing reach by constantly updating your contact list. Add the new ones and cross off the ones who didn’t get back to you. As a suitable punishment, forward their contact info to telemarketers, media outlets, mass mailing houses and door-to-door salesmen.
Conclusion. Not surprisingly, Web 2.0 technologies and the bewildering array of social media sites require lots of technical savvy and effort. But there’s no reason to forgo a social media marketing program just because your company is not at the cutting edge of online technology. Businesses have been thriving for thousands of years without these nuisances. If you follow these recommendations, your company can have an absonant and highly fatuous social media marketing program.